Ah, Poison Ivy..

In case you don't follow me on Twitter, you may have missed that for the past couple weeks, I've been afflicted with poison ivy.

Truly, I don't want to bore you with the details, particularly since I'm still fighting it. Essentially, I've barely had a decent night's sleep in two weeks or so, for the itching and pain. Maybe I'll get some pictures at some point of the vile weed, but apparently what we had in our backyard is some genetic mutation of poison ivy, sumac AND oak, called ... I don't know. But it was a nasty purple thorny vine and the scratch it gave me lay dormant for a week.

Then it evolved into a hole and a huge rash on my left wrist, and left ankle. During which time I felt like amputation might be a reasonable alternative.

Fortunately, even in spite of my own bad ideas, it's begun to heal. 

I'm still not getting much sleep because it itches. And burns. And makes me want to scream. I finally started taking prednisone a few days ago, which has its own side effects, including stomach cramps and short term memory loss. 

But don't you worry about me. I'm fine. Sitting at a desk where I have to brace my left arm up in order to type has been - more trouble than it's been worth.

I've read a few books while this has been happening, and watched a couple things - all of which I'll detail in another post.

I just wanted to share with you my gory pictures... although I suspect, due to the quality of my webcam, they don't look nearly as bad on here as they do in real life. Color yourself fortunate.

Til the next.

TiStF | Pythons taking over the Everglades

I was born in south Florida, some many years ago. As a child living on the west coast with relatives on the east coast, my father and I took many road trips down "Alligator Alley." At the time, it was an unlit, two lane highway cutting through the Everglades. 90 miles or so. No gas stations, no guard rails, no traffic lights. If you were a five year old and had to pee, you held it - or took your chances on the side of the road that a gator or a panther would come up and eat you.

The upshot of that trip was that sugar cane grew wild on the Miami side. Hack a stalk down with a machete and it would last longer than any tootsie pop. Very 1970's, hmm? Yes.

This article on Yahoo caught my eye. According to it, The National Park Service has counted 1,825 Burmese pythons that have been caught in and around Everglades National Park since 2000. Among the largest so far was a 156-pound, 16.4-foot one captured earlier this month.

And now, the smaller mammals that live in the Everglades are slowly disappearing. Imagine that.

Two things happen. One is that pet snakes get too big for their owners - so the clever owner turns it out into the wild, thinking to do both himself and the pet snake a favor. Good idea, bad implementation. Better to take it to a zoo, or a place devoted specifically to the species.

The other thing that happens in south Florida, is hurricanes. When hurricanes hit, people are saving themselves, their children, their bread and water - and not necessarily their pets. Maybe their dogs, but your 10' python isn't fitting in the back of your toyota when you're trying to evacuate. Also, homes and pet shops get storm damage, and those creatures go free. Animals tend to be a bit more resilient to natural disasters than humans, survival instinct and all that. Flooding and power outages and debris keep some storm-ravaged areas unoccupied for days and weeks at a time.

What we end up with is an over population of animals that aren't designed for the particular environment where they end up. A Burmese Python will have no natural predators in the Everglades - because it doesn't belong there.

Although scientists cannot definitively say the pythons are killing off the mammals, the snakes are the prime suspect. The increase in pythons coincides with the mammals' decrease, and the decline appears to grow in magnitude with the size of the snakes' population in an area. A single disease appears unlikely to be the cause since several species were affected.

The report says the effect on the overall ecosystem is hard to predict. Declines among bobcats and foxes, which eat rabbits, could be linked to pythons' feasting on rabbits. On the flip side, declines among raccoons, which eat eggs, may help some turtles, crocodiles and birds.

What's so fantastic about this? Throw this scenario into a fantasy setting. There's some predatory exotic pet that is fashionable to keep. A mighty storm - or war - or dragon fire - ravages the community in question, and suddenly these exotic pets are free. They take up residence in the nearest geographical haven, multiply because their life cycle is uncontested, and next you thing you know you have the cliche' of "The Haunted Forest" filled with man-eating creatures.

Interesting video clip on the situation. Alligator vs Python - it's a draw!



But! Let's go to PBS, where the first python gets eaten. Yay? The second one, however, eats a gator half of its size! Do the math.



Better book those air boat tours to the Everglades now, before it becomes the Python Glades, hmm?

TiStF | Government Scandals

As much as I enjoy The Daily Show, I must admit that I am weary of hearing about Congressman Weiner's weiner. In last night's episode, there was a strong bit that essentially said, to paraphrase, women don't really care to see a man's junk, unless it can cook, clean, listen, provide financial security and comfort her parents. Now you know.

In Jon Stewart's defense, this is comedy gold at the end of the comedy rainbow. It's too good to ignore, and there is a year's worth of parody and satire and punchlines that will honor the idiot who tweeted his stuff to some female constituent.

Ugh, make it stop.

An interesting way to gain votes.

I was going to post video, during which I tried to come up with some clever way of saying something which hadn't been said. After all, this isn't a political blog, by any stretch of the imagination.

Which got me to thinking...

Our history as a culture is filled with government scandals. There's always a mistress, from Henry VIII to John Edwards. Where now we have CNN and Jon Stewart, even the Greeks had parodists, the Romans had cryers, and medieval times had bards.

Senator lifts his toga and flashes his stuff at a young female thespian in the alley behind the Parthenon. Did it happen? Seems very likely.

Scandal. Bloody scandal. There was even a Discovery episode about such things. Missed it? It's on DVD: Scandals of the Ancient World.

When I write, I try to not to go for those melodramatic conflicts. I like purity of intent, of action, and in my mind, that creates a more dramatic conflict, because (in theory), the reader should empathize with both sides, and in that, they must either choose a side, or sit back and see what happens.

It feels false to me when there is some melodramatic love triangle, when someone is being wicked just for the sake of doing so. To me, it's more compelling when a character is driven into temptation. "Bad" people should have serious motivations, and be well aware of the cost of being naughty.

Then, I watch the news. Pick up the newspaper. Read the headlines on my web browser. Watch a little political satire show. It stares at me, reminds me, that humans are very flawed.

I've been revising Catalyst, and there's multiple character arcs. The arc that I'm currently reworking seemed a little bland to me, so yes, I've had to go back and tighten up the older protagonist, give him a little edge to reflect his experiences. I've had to purify the younger protagonist, so that he would be a little uncomfortable as events unfold that he's never experienced.

But the other arcs seemed fine to me. More organized and coherent peoples, the conflict is more direct, and they all unite - it's pretty standard epic stuff.

Yet, here is the Universe reminding me that people are flawed. That even in Congressman Wiener's perfect life, with his new wife and his secure political position - he goes and mucks up his entire career for no apparent reason. With no sense of logic or responsibility or grace, this otherwise relatively successful man is essentially a fool.

It seems so cheap and vulgar to include this sort of failing in fiction. It's so ridiculous and cheesy. Yet, history is full of these anecdotes. Modern society can't go a week without a scandal.

What's a writer to do?

Do we imagine a world where honor and a person's truth and integrity actually means something - where two people who claim to love each other, actually do so (without either one of them enteraining offers and suggestive notions from another outside the relationship)?

Or do we reflect the decay of organized society? Men (and women) who rule counties, countries and worlds, are simply base peoples, with the same lust, greed and self-indulgent motivations of their constituency?

On the one hand, a perfect paradise is potentially very boring.

On the other, epic heroic fantasy still sells today - because when we are surrounded by war, greed, lust and government scandal, it's nice to escape into a world where people are exactly what they say they are, and that they will fight against all odds to uphold those beliefs.

What do you think?

Video: Singing Coyote Cubs

While you're watching this, I'm having a yard sale. This is far more entertaining, I assure you.



For those who wonder why Coyote is my totem, and not the ever-so-popular and much more machismo Wolf (to match my pseudonym), the answer lies not only in this video (SOO CUTE OMG), but in the BBC Series that this clip comes from, Coyote - The Ultimate Survivor.

TiStF | Incredible Reflexes

There's always this notion, in writing fiction, that the hero will be TOO powerful. You know, he/she always get himself out of terrible danger with a flick of the wrist.

Instinctive Reflexes.

We see some incredible things in martial arts, in competitions, so in a fight, I rather expect to see some pretty impressive feats... the hero is ready.

But, what about the person who has trained, is in top athletic shape, but is otherwise unaware? Too much, you say? Everyone can be surprised?

Perhaps that is true. I'm a believer in that.

At the same time, Truth is stranger than fiction, my friends. This is Tampa Bay Rays' third baseman Evan Langoria... check this out.

Truth is Stranger than Fiction | Stalin responsible for Roswell UFO crash?

I admit, without reservation, that I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Frankly, I think the world needs humor and satire to go along with the ridiculous news that we have to digest.

So earlier this week, I caught his interview with Annie Jacobsen. She was doing her book tour for her recently published book, Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base.

You have to see it for yourself. This is incredible.



I can't help but wonder how this changes the face of science fiction. It's fun to imagine that aliens landed in New Mexico and were kept in a secret underground military bunker, ala the 1996 movie Independence Day. Good storytelling!

The best part of this is that - some of this is true. Sooo, there is an Area 51. And! There is a UFO hidden deep within Area 51. But the Russians built it! Really?!

Sets the imagination off, no? What if the Russians were wanting to test their secret project, launched this thing into space, and they discovered real aliens? Who then took the UFO and used it to sneak back into the earth's atmosphere, using the space ship's technology?

All of this truly begs the question... WHY would the U.S. keep this a secret? Wouldn't the government (either government, for that matter) gain more credibility by saying, "Nope. No aliens. This was Stalin trying to get one over on us, as part of a big plan to panic their enemies."

What's the purpose of the big secret? There's another story premise right there - that the government wants to use this as their own secret weapon, in order to panic enemies and/or solidify an unruly public trust behind a common enemy. Even the President is on a "need to know" basis (according to the interview), which means we could get attacked by aliens (i.e., ourselves) and yet the leader of the free world wouldn't be in on it. Or would he/she?

Truly, the possibilities are endless. (Which sci-fi author do you think will grab this and run?)

Yahoo does an interesting story on this 'buzz', with multiple links, by the way, if you'd like to do your own research.

Truth is stranger than fiction, my friends.

Random Things of Interest

I'm chewing on a new catchy feature, this thing, where uh, it is basically random internet links! I am certainly *not* the only one doing it!

But it's telling, no? We see if we like the same things? Fun, exciting, or NOT COOL YOU SUCK! I don't know. Let's try!

Okay, by way of weblog camaraderie, this blogaraderie (I am a master of language OR NOT), let's begin...

I was reading Bryce's post It's News to Me, and found this SF Signal post, which contained a link to the best vampire powerpoint presentation ever. It's a little lengthy, so wait til your lunch break. (Oh, and because I couldn't NOT look, a rendition of Steampunk Sarah Palin. The horror!)

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Mead! The drink of the gods. Tis a funny thing, to write about the stuff, and to never have tried it, no? Well, now you can try to make your own, with this mead making e-book. Am I being asked to promote this? No, he probably doesn't even know I'm mentioning it; I just think it's cool.

Edited to add: Well, hell, the dude's got a video!



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Getting a little buzz on Yahoo, this 2 minute Star Wars video.



The timing of this video was all the more interesting, as Lucasfilm recently announced that it would be reproducing the Star Wars saga in 3D. And yes, you aren't the only one who is horrified by a three dimensional Jar Jar.

*

Speaking of, scientists have discovered a new (potentially) habitable planet. Sharpen your pens, sci fi writers.

(And come up with a better name than Gliese 581g, for crimony's sake.)

*

In the "Why it's a miracle that humans haven't gone extinct" category, a viral video of a Ukrainian lion trainer getting chomped on.



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I predict this year's hot new Halloween costume will be "Cigar Guy". Here he is, knocking out Sonny Liston...



If you haven't heard of Cigar Guy - he was standing in the background when a photographer got nailed by an errant Tiger Woods shot.

***

I have some actual news and publishing information to share, but I think that I will wait and put those together. My guess is that if you need to know something bad enough, you can find it. My goal here is to show you things you might have missed. (Or really, reasons to mock/praise randomly.)

Have a great day.

Video: Research, News - Killer Giant Squid

SyFy network has a new show called Beast Legends, in which a team of people digitally recreate, through science and legend, some of the mythical creatures.


I'm finding the show to be a little corny, but it's interesting in terms of the information they work with.

Recently, (episode 2) they recreated the Kraken myth, relying primarily upon their (spoiler alert) discovery of giant squid scientific factoids.

Aside, SyFy producers, you blew it on the "armor". An underwater predator that large will be capable of diving to such depths that their skin will have evolved into something very incredible, and believable. Sharkskin isn't armor, but it ain't no joke. Etc.

Getting info on the giant squid was difficult, as the animals are very elusive. Until now. (cue dramatic music)

As reported in the Express online paper, Humboldt squids are attacking fishermen and devouring fishing stocks.

Two Mexican fishermen were recently dragged from their boats and chewed so badly that their bodies could not be identified even by their own families.

No wonder the giant squid are called “diablos rojos” – red devils.

...

Marine biologists wear chain-mail to protect themselves from creatures that can measure 8ft, weigh 100lb and carry an armoury of more than 40,000 fearsome teeth along two “attack” tentacles.

The creatures have another eight “legs” for grasping and swimming and can reach speeds of more than 15mph.

(Ironically, or poetically, this story came from reading Dinosaur Comics. Comics are your friend, people.)

Now if you watched the SyFy episode, you would have learned that there's practically no footage of giant squids, due to their swimming depths and general intelligence. But I managed to find a little video to show you.



A tiny one, alas. (Which is amusing to consider that three feet is tiny. Such a cynic I am.)

If you're not in a hurry, there's a nice 13 minute documentary that's far more detailed here. Imbedding was disabled, so you'll have to clicky clicky.

To be able to explore these things, it's almost worth it to create a race of creatures that can breathe underw... hmm. Okay, back to work for me. ;-)

Truth is stranger than fiction, yes?

Video: Research - Squirrels vs the World

Well, I'm a little behind on my word count this week, so my latest review will have to wait. In the meantime, I would like to share a couple of squirrel videos.

Yes, squirrels.

The first one is a bit lengthy, I'm afraid. But you can watch it for a minute and get the idea.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This second one, (and pardon the cheesy music background, but the original video wouldn't imbed), is something I saw on Nat Geo. The squirrel is protecting its babies in a nearby den from a gopher snake. Don't give up too early (after about 2:30, there is nothing but snake) on this one, as the squirrel wins and keeps going, but it ends up in a draw.



Again, I say truth is stranger than fiction.

Video: Research - Caracal vs Guinea Fowl

I can't recall if this was Discovery or NGC, but I had never heard of this particular cat, common to South Africa.



Did you see that vertical leap? Kapow! Aside, the Guinea Fowl is a fairly muscular bird. The one video I saw (not this one) gave it good odds for outrunning a predator with a nice burst of speed. Unfortunately, in that video, the fowl can only fly like 100 yards before they tucker out. Jumpy Cat caught it on the descent.

What's writeworthy: I recall from the original program that these are early morning hunters, so I imagined a scene with a leaping cat while my adventurers are eating breakfast. With that kind of vertical leap, the fiction possibilities (not rooted in science, as much of mine is) are pretty endless.

I'll try not to inundate the blog with animal videos, but it's my current research, and I can't get enough of them, so I hope you don't mind me sharing just a little.

Video: Research - Rhino vs Tourists

I found this one while watching National Geographic; the name of the show escapes me.



I like how the lady rolls her eyes when the guide is trying to scare the rhino.
I found it laughable to think that slapping a rifle butt could scare a rhino.
The winner is that one man is attacked, the other gets hit twice and is lying in a heap on the ground, and then the guide decides to shoot the damn thing.

What's writeworthy: Taking a direct hit from a rhino charge, getting knocked down and being able to scamper. The rhino, in the bush one minute, attacking the next. The rhino, changing targets, giving up on one, but sticking with the second. Bonus: Of all the people, he went after the brothers. Statistically, 1 in 8 x 2, right? Rhino sixth sense, the brothers smelled funny, were weak, something.

Seriously, why aren't there more rhino's in fantasy fiction? They're great! What's not to love about a temperamental, fat, horned quadraped in tank armor?

Video: Research - Dog vs Bull

I've been watching a number of animal and wildlife documentaries lately, so I'm going to share snippets of things that I find interesting/inspiring.

This first one I saw while watching Animal Planet, and found a partial clip on YouTube.



Ironically, I was just chatting with Raine the other day about bullfighting. Some folks think it's cruel to the animals, and I don't disagree, but the festival is an ancient tradition in Spain (and other Spanish countries). There are worse, more cruel and/or wasteful traditions that still take place all over the world.

I digress.

Once you add the human element, stupid things happen. The bull was 1600 pounds. The man lost his footing. He should have died.

A bull terrier is a spunky, fun-loving dog. The edit on this video is a little rough as it jumps out of sequence. The dog was panting (as opposed to growling), and taunting the bull before it finally scurried off back into the crowd. They are solid, and that one was probably on the low end of about 50 pounds. Vs. 1600 pounds. Didn't even get hurt.

Oh, and since it's not obvious from the video (unless you notice the beginning where the dog scoots in from the right side), that wasn't the man's pet. That was just a terrier having fun.

What's writeworthy: Seriously? What isn't golden about that whole scene? Tiny dog saves man! Tiny dog was chewing on the bull's face (and perfectly situated to not get mauled, only tossed about)! The episode was epic, the cause was heartwarming.

Awesome. I love dogs.

Truth is oft stranger...

Okay, while researching some stuff, I stumbled across an article on a giant isopod - a Bathynomus giganteus - that attached itself to a submarine.

Before I show you the picture, you ever play those games where you're a newb and you have to kill like a hundred "giant crabs" to level up? How completely unrealistic is ... uh...

that? (Coconut crabs apparently fight back, too.) On the other hand, with a little butter....

So, moving on, this dude found this thing...


Not too bad, right? Ugly, sure, but it's an ocean bottom dweller, what did you expect? Take a look at the SIZE of this thing.



Wow! You can write some creepy nautical tales with that sorta thing (The giant octopus is soooo overdone, no?)

Anyway, I had to show someone. Aren't you glad you stopped by? ;-)